[It is, of course, contradictory. Tamamo knows it. Her feelings are a mess, in disarray, and her despair has crushed her. And now... Not even Hakuno is here. Once again, she's alone.]
... So what if I am? Contradicting yourself is part of being human.
[It's said bitterly. Of course, it's part of being human... But Tamamo isn't human. All her evils were done with the hope of becoming one. As Daji, she led a dynasty to ruin so she could become human, but in the end, she went too far, and had that promise broken. As Tamamo, she only wished to be human, but couldn't hide her true nature, and was killed for it.
If the end will come no matter what, it's easier to make Hakuno hate her. Because, if her love is so overbearing it makes Hakuno hate her... That's fine. Because if she does that, it's better than Hakuno coming to hate her naturally. If she drives Hakuno away, at least that was still some level of control.
Every time, everything she wishes for slips through her fingers and fades away, and for all her abilities as a goddess, she is powerless to stop it. Better to drive Hakuno off herself than to let her slip away, through Hakuno finding someone else, or through the simple fact that Hakuno is mortal.
Her ears twitch, her tail fur bristling angrily. Nero's not wrong, of course. Tamamo has been in total despair for so long, she almost has forgotten how to feel anything else. Hakuno is the only ray of hope she has.
(The memory of a hundred Grail Wars, and a thousand deaths, flickers through her head. And in the end, her weakness makes the Master she devoted herself to abandon her.)]
I don't want to hear that from someone whose despair made her kill herself, you hypocrite. At least when I died, it was facing those who would kill me, rather than by my own hand.
oh good. i am basically constantly chinhandsing at this thread ngl
... So what if I am? Contradicting yourself is part of being human.
[It's said bitterly. Of course, it's part of being human... But Tamamo isn't human. All her evils were done with the hope of becoming one. As Daji, she led a dynasty to ruin so she could become human, but in the end, she went too far, and had that promise broken. As Tamamo, she only wished to be human, but couldn't hide her true nature, and was killed for it.
If the end will come no matter what, it's easier to make Hakuno hate her. Because, if her love is so overbearing it makes Hakuno hate her... That's fine. Because if she does that, it's better than Hakuno coming to hate her naturally. If she drives Hakuno away, at least that was still some level of control.
Every time, everything she wishes for slips through her fingers and fades away, and for all her abilities as a goddess, she is powerless to stop it. Better to drive Hakuno off herself than to let her slip away, through Hakuno finding someone else, or through the simple fact that Hakuno is mortal.
Her ears twitch, her tail fur bristling angrily. Nero's not wrong, of course. Tamamo has been in total despair for so long, she almost has forgotten how to feel anything else. Hakuno is the only ray of hope she has.
(The memory of a hundred Grail Wars, and a thousand deaths, flickers through her head. And in the end, her weakness makes the Master she devoted herself to abandon her.)]
I don't want to hear that from someone whose despair made her kill herself, you hypocrite. At least when I died, it was facing those who would kill me, rather than by my own hand.