[ compromise: he's ten pounds of pudge and bone, and makes up for the shock by being warm and disgruntledly squirmy. ]

Not if it's made properly! It's best when it's fresh: then you can have a bread that's crisp and warm and sweet as melons cut open in the first throes of summer. With all of world and time at their disposal, so far man's only invented one thing to beat melon bread.