No... It's all right. If you still hold doubts, perhaps I can explain.
[Nahyuta closes his eyes and forces himself to calm. After all those years of having Rayfa held over him, his reaction to her very existence being called into question is one of kneejerk defensiveness. Those wounds are still fresh. But Apollo is not Ga'ran: they're having this conversation in the first place because he wants to understand Apollo, and why he's still hurting so much, even after everything they've done and will continue to do for Dhurke. It's nothing against Rayfa herself, not really.
Once he's managed to calm enough to set his own feelings aside on the matter -- something he has more than enough practice on -- he begins.]
You should understand that, at that point, my mother never expected to have a second child. It was not a thing that can be explained rationally. She loved Father with all her heart, but she suspected him of the blaze nine years prior, and she had not been convinced to the contrary. Yet she was not unhappy that she had fallen with child, and she was overjoyed when Rayfa came into the world. Perhaps, if things had gone on that way, Mother would have come to trust Father, they could have deposed Ga'ran peacefully, and all would have been well. You could have come home.
[Nahyuta is trying to keep his voice even as he explains. Recounting what is simultaneously one of the happiest and one of the most devastating years of his life isn't easy.]
But it was not to be. Confirming the very fears Dhurke had held for you, Rayfa and Mother were taken hostage, and our family torn asunder once more.
no subject
[Nahyuta closes his eyes and forces himself to calm. After all those years of having Rayfa held over him, his reaction to her very existence being called into question is one of kneejerk defensiveness. Those wounds are still fresh. But Apollo is not Ga'ran: they're having this conversation in the first place because he wants to understand Apollo, and why he's still hurting so much, even after everything they've done and will continue to do for Dhurke. It's nothing against Rayfa herself, not really.
Once he's managed to calm enough to set his own feelings aside on the matter -- something he has more than enough practice on -- he begins.]
You should understand that, at that point, my mother never expected to have a second child. It was not a thing that can be explained rationally. She loved Father with all her heart, but she suspected him of the blaze nine years prior, and she had not been convinced to the contrary. Yet she was not unhappy that she had fallen with child, and she was overjoyed when Rayfa came into the world. Perhaps, if things had gone on that way, Mother would have come to trust Father, they could have deposed Ga'ran peacefully, and all would have been well. You could have come home.
[Nahyuta is trying to keep his voice even as he explains. Recounting what is simultaneously one of the happiest and one of the most devastating years of his life isn't easy.]
But it was not to be. Confirming the very fears Dhurke had held for you, Rayfa and Mother were taken hostage, and our family torn asunder once more.