[He just wanted a goddamn cupcake. Or: D has no interest in being a) hit with a cupcake, or b) getting hit with a fist or other body part, so he hurriedly steps back out of range of this cupcake brawl. Why is this happening??]

Would all of you control yourselves— [He'd finish this Scolding, but another worker picks up a fallen cupcake and lobs it at Mikael, but it sails past him and sticks frosting side down on D's beautiful dress before rolling weakly to the ground.

Now there is a stain. What the hell.] Young man, I think that employee just attempted to assault you with a baked good.

[punch him once for D, this is fine,]