(he wishes the emotions hadn't been forced out the way they were, so then the comfort nahyuta was taking time to give would actually work. maybe then he wouldn't be stuck feeling the same pain apollo feels. why is it he's always left wishing he could have done more?

he pulls away from his shoulder, eyes red and still filled with tears, ones he's still trying to hold back, keep some semblance of control. he bites his lower lip, pained by all the suffering he's felt over the last two years alone.) I just wish I could've done more. More than just showing up too late after spending my life trying to forget everything about you and Dhurke and Khura'in.

(if he had, dhurke might still be here. they'd be a proper family again. dhurke could see his dream realized, be with the love of his life, his daughter. they could run the office together, the way it should have been.)