(he feels awful. hell, he feels an imposing sense of guilt for what he's doing. it's back enough he's acting this way in front of nahyuta, but now he's dragging him down into a depressive episode with him. he could feel those fingers looking to grip something, just barely, but he knew he was making nahyuta suffer this way.
and yet, he can't stop himself. he can't just shove these emotions down and chant "i'm fine" and make the problem vanish like one of trucy's magic tricks. this is something he's stuck with, something he hast to deal with in the here and now. he kinda hoped "now" would've come much later.
he trembles, his body only just quivering, as he holds back sobs he's not ready for the world to hear yet. not until he's in a better state of mind, one he hasn't been forced into by some strange world. he can't make himself look up at nahyuta, not like that.) I'm so sorry, Nahyuta. I'm so sorry.
(for the case, for the trial, for not being there, for trying to shove everything about khura'in from his memory, for not helping sooner.)
no subject
and yet, he can't stop himself. he can't just shove these emotions down and chant "i'm fine" and make the problem vanish like one of trucy's magic tricks. this is something he's stuck with, something he hast to deal with in the here and now. he kinda hoped "now" would've come much later.
he trembles, his body only just quivering, as he holds back sobs he's not ready for the world to hear yet. not until he's in a better state of mind, one he hasn't been forced into by some strange world. he can't make himself look up at nahyuta, not like that.) I'm so sorry, Nahyuta. I'm so sorry.
(for the case, for the trial, for not being there, for trying to shove everything about khura'in from his memory, for not helping sooner.)